On the wings of what?

Never before have I watched a season of “The Bachelor” and never before have I wondered so hard why I was watching something while simultaneously not being able to turn it off.

Yeah, there are much trashier reality shows out there, but what I’m saying is, I KNOW why I watch those.

But with “The Bachelor” it is something else altogether. I’m a big fan of sincerity, not that it always needs to be present, but I like it when people are open to it, and there is a weird level of sincerity on the show. Or at least something that seems a lot like it.

These people really seem to think that this is the best way to find love and that it is in no way odd. And it’s made extra weird by the fact that none of them are famous. A bunch of women thinking a famous guy might be for them and thinking that this not-normal activity was the truest way to his heart almost makes sense to me since only famous people know what it is like to be famous and everyone else is left wondering. But these people are competing for a private relationship with someone no more interesting to the world than they are in a very public competition. The women on “The Bachelor” come off as if they really are in love (well, not real love but that approximation that many people mistake for it when they are still looking for “Mr. Perfect” and have absurd ideas of what it should be). Hell, their families get involved and have to meet the guy. At least with the girls on the VH1 shows, you just assume they have bad relationships with their families and that’s why they’re probably there in the first place. So when these women spends weeks seeming like they mean all the crazy stuff they say, and then you meet the families and they seem nice, and like they actually call each other AND they are incredibly supportive of the girl’s choice to be on the show, you just kind of zone out and enjoy the polite insanity.

Many people have written about the oddness of “The Bachelor” so I won’t beat a dead horse, but in case you don’t know this season focuses on finding love for the above pictured Jake. And Jake is a pilot. So each week there is something on the show themed around this fact, but it’s usually a five-minute helicopter ride in two-hour episode.

This season isn’t just “The Bachelor,” it’s “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” which makes me giggle to no end. If you don’t know, “On the Wings of Love” is a 1982 R&B song that dominated weddings of the 1980s. Most of the people on the show weren’t even alive when the song came out. It’s the kind of song that I only ever hear when in the car when I’m visiting my Mom in Florida. Pretty much every time I go to Florida I end up driving around thinking “how do people live here” and “what year is it?” And while that isn’t a big deal I feel like it just adds to the myriad of strange, but seemingly sincere things about the show that leave me watching with a pained look on my face, but not changing the channel.

It also always reminds me that I used to know a guy who would sing “On the Wings of Love” as “On the Wings of a Bird” because WHY WOULDN’T you sing it like that. That’s a better song. Think about how adventurous that would be! If only I could remember who it was, maybe we could pitch them as the next Bachelor and they could take people on dates on birds. I would definitely watch that. If only for the take-offs which would be crazy. Joe Rogan could host.


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