30 Day Challenge: Day 19

Day 19 – “Disrespecting your parents”

I’ve never had any real desire to disrespect my parents, nor have I every really understood it. I also don’t understand teenage suburban angst, and I would say that is another story, but given many of the topics on the 30 Day Challenge, I don’t think it is.

There is a line in the show Rent where they sing “Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad” and even at 16 years of age, I used to just wonder what could be so bad, besides obvious bad stuff. But they don’t say that their parents do anything bad to them, they just sound like they don’t quite fit in. I’ve never quite fit in either, but I’ve always been one to do my own thing so I think they just accepted it when I was young. I guess I’m lucky.

My mom can make me a little nuts sometimes, but it’s way more about decisions she makes for herself that I can’t change. I’m like the mom at times, we take turns, so I can get frustrated. My father, on the other hand, probably deserved some of the disrespect. I definitely gave him a little when I was younger, but we’re talking really young, like four to six years old, so it was more me acting out at him for not being around and then showing up randomly.

Once I pulled a chair out from under him. He was barely around and when he was he would show up with his bad temper and yell at my mom, so I wanted to make him be angry for a reason. My childish reasoning was very much that of a stern mother, “if you’re upset about nothing, I’ll give you something to be upset about.” So I pulled a chair out from under him in our kitchen and he smacked his head against the counter. I can count the amount of memories I have of my dad from my childhood on two hands, and this is one of them.

Years later I would be the one to initiate contact between us again, ultimately leading to me being at his bedside as he died. So overall I still don’t think I had any overwhelming desire to disrespect my parents, I just wanted him to want to hang out with me more than he wanted to do crack, which is reasonable.

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